It’s never easy to lose someone you love. I don’t know how to cope with it, and I don’t know how to react. Most of the time I just sit with a blank stare on my face not wanting to accept that this amazing person is gone. My heart is broken, and I can’t help but repeatedly ask why? When I don’t know how to handle my emotions, I write, so that’s what I’m doing.
This morning, I received a phone call that my dear friend, Blaise Baldonado, passed away. I am in utter shock and disbelief; it was so sudden and the last thing I would have ever expected to hear waking up this morning. Losing such a beautiful soul is an absolute tragedy, but I wanted to share who Blaise was in my life because he was an incredible person, and I wish everyone had the privilege of meeting him. He will forever have a place in my heart.
When I meet people for the first time, I tend to be very quiet, shy and reserved until I feel comfortable enough expressing myself. With you, that was never the case. Tresha texted me saying I’d like you, and she was absolutely right. I knew you were my type of person from the moment I met you, and I got along with you instantly. You always brought so much positive energy and laughter into people’s lives, and you knew how to throw shade like it was nobody’s business. I loved it. There were so many times I’d be crying from laughing so hard, and there was never a dull moment with you. I’ve always had so much respect for you because you were so genuine. You had no time for bullshit, and were one of the most honest people I know. You always stayed true to yourself and cared about each of the relationships you built. I really admired you for that. Supervising a staff of twenty three is not an easy task, and I’m sure there were times you were so annoyed and over us, but never once did you show it. You poured love into us and cared for each and everyone of us deeply. I knew I could knock on your door at any time and you would be there without hesitation.
You were so hardworking and dedicated to both your job as a RLA and as a student. I remember going into the staff office late at night, and your light would still be on because you were writing a paper or studying, yet you still found the time to welcome us into your apartment, make us spam musubis (best I’ve ever had) and spend time with us. This year, you finished your masters, and were about to start your career when this tragedy happened. I’m in disbelief and I’m having trouble accepting that this really happened. I have no doubt that you would have killed it at that university, and changed student’s lives, because you definitely changed mine.
When i look back on college, my best memories were with our staff, our palladium family. You and everyone else showed me that it’s okay to be myself, and it’s okay to show my weaknesses. I always felt cared for and loved, and I knew that, no matter where I am or what I go through, I would see it through. We had such a strong bond that is rare to come by. Even when I was here in LA, I’d randomly get a text that would get me hollering laughing. I’d miss you and appreciate that I could still keep this bond from miles and miles away.
I’m so heartbroken, and it still hasn’t fully sunk in, but I’ll always remember you, Blaise. I’m going to remember all the laughs we shared and all of the beautiful memories. I know myself and our entire Palladium family love you so much, and will miss you dearly. If there was a way to represent ‘ohana, it was us… You made us better, Blaise. We were the lucky ones.
1/3/87 – 8/6/15
RIP Blaise Baldonado