dear future self.

Dear future self,

I hope when you look back on this, you’re in a great place and you’ve accomplished far more than you ever imagined.

When I was growing up the following quote always resonated with me, and it still does:

“I’m not sure what I’ll do, but— well, I want to go places and see people. I want my mind to grow. I want to live where things happen on a big scale.”

This quote from F. Scott Fitzgerald lived on my binders, on sticky notes, and is currently plastered on my wall. I find comfort in its simplicity; it gives me encouragement and motivation to keep thinking big and to find direction. Every time I see it, I smile a little and know exactly what it means, yet I don’t know how to get to a place where those words become a reality. I once did, but somewhere along the way, I got a little lost.

I remember when I was in 8th grade and dad said I wouldn’t make it. That I wasn’t driven enough and that I wasn’t smart enough. I knew he was only saying these things to push me and I told him that I would prove him wrong. I told him I would be successful and that I would do everything he said I couldn’t. I had this confidence and faith where I knew I had the potential to do whatever I set my mind to. From 8th grade to the end of high school, that confidence never wavered, but then at some point, I started to beat myself up. I started understanding how difficult it is out in the real world, and I let that get to me. I started to doubt what I was capable of doing and did what I said I’d never do..settle.

I don’t want to do that anymore, and I’m really coming to a place where I understand that. I understand that I need to make changes and need to push myself to explore the unknown. I’m stronger than I think I am, and even though I’m scared, I don’t want to look back at this years later and still be in the same place. I’m better than that. I want to look back at this and smile because I know I conquered my fears and allowed myself to utilize my potential to the fullest. If I want something, I’m going to go get it. No inhibitions, no what ifs.

This is silly, but I just heard this in an interview as I was typing this post: The interviewer said, “Does anything about your future scare you at all?”

The response was, “Of course it does, everything does. The whole universe scares me, but you know, it’s like in Winnie the Pooh, Piglet was really afraid of something and says “suppose lightning hits this tree and it catches on fire” and Pooh just goes “well.. suppose it doesn’t” So you know, things can go wrong, it can be difficult, there can be hardships, but maybe not. The only way you’re gonna know.. is if you go for it.” 

So…future self.. I know I’m about to go on one hell of a ride. I hope I can say I enjoyed it and embraced it. When you look back, I hope you’re proud.

XX,

Current self.

 

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3 thoughts on “dear future self.

  1. angie

    i came across this post while looking for the exact interview you’re referring to. if you’d like, give fallen by naji a listen. it’s how i came across it, and the song’s given me some grand comfort in listening to it on the daily commute.

    i sincerely hope you’ll be able to look back and be proud of yourself too. best of luck to you.

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